When People Offend You

When People Offend You I was recently reminded of how much of an impact others can have on us.  Whether its the person who delivered the news to us that we are not going to be employed anymore, a person at the job club we go to, the person who interviewed with us (and never gets responds to our emails) people we interact with can have a big impact on us. Unfortunately, sometimes we allow the impact people have on us to be really harmful (to us). Ideally, we would be strong and powerful and not let people hurt us, but life isnt always ideal.  And we are not always strong. I think, unfortunately, we give people too much power.  We respect what we assume is their position, or stature.  If she said it, it must be true!!  What qualifies her to speak truth, or be right?  What if She has been raised or influenced by a narcissist?  Yuck.  Double yuck. Theres no easy way to handle this, except to realize the offender has serious issues, not you. Whether this person is a narcissist or has learned social skills from a narcissist, its hard to be on the receiving end of this abuse. She is having a horrible day? I just read a story from a friend who was unintentionally rude on the road, after just learning about her fathers death. Her mind was totally somewhere else. Not a good time to drive, of course, but it could have given the person she cut off some insight into why. She says something without considering you, or your situation?  Its a drive-by comment that she didnt really think about, and doesnt realize how impactful her comments are on you. She has zero integrity, heart, or love. Some people are just completely self-centered, living in a lonely world of being a jerk. They walk over everyone and everything without a care in the world. Or, a host of other scenarios?   Do not give her (or him) too much power.  I know its easier said than done, but figure out how to brush it off and move on. And, if necessary, sever the relationship. Theres no sense staying in a toxic relationship when its only harming you (and people you care for). If all else fails, borrow a motto I came up with a number of years ago, when I try to figure out why people do things: Presume insanity.  That is, if you adjust your thinking, and presume the offending person is crazy, that could put their actions into the right, or at least a personally healthy, perspective. When People Offend You I was recently reminded of how much of an impact others can have on us.  Whether its the person who delivered the news to us that we are not going to be employed anymore, a person at the job club we go to, the person who interviewed with us (and never gets responds to our emails) people we interact with can have a big impact on us. Unfortunately, sometimes we allow the impact people have on us to be really harmful (to us). Ideally, we would be strong and powerful and not let people hurt us, but life isnt always ideal.  And we are not always strong. I think, unfortunately, we give people too much power.  We respect what we assume is their position, or stature.  If she said it, it must be true!!  What qualifies her to speak truth, or be right?  What if She has been raised or influenced by a narcissist?  Yuck.  Double yuck. Theres no easy way to handle this, except to realize the offender has serious issues, not you. Whether this person is a narcissist or has learned social skills from a narcissist, its hard to be on the receiving end of this abuse. She is having a horrible day? I just read a story from a friend who was unintentionally rude on the road, after just learning about her fathers death. Her mind was totally somewhere else. Not a good time to drive, of course, but it could have given the person she cut off some insight into why. She says something without considering you, or your situation?  Its a drive-by comment that she didnt really think about, and doesnt realize how impactful her comments are on you. She has zero integrity, heart, or love. Some people are just completely self-centered, living in a lonely world of being a jerk. They walk over everyone and everything without a care in the world. Or, a host of other scenarios?   Do not give her (or him) too much power.  I know its easier said than done, but figure out how to brush it off and move on. And, if necessary, sever the relationship. Theres no sense staying in a toxic relationship when its only harming you (and people you care for). If all else fails, borrow a motto I came up with a number of years ago, when I try to figure out why people do things: Presume insanity.  That is, if you adjust your thinking, and presume the offending person is crazy, that could put their actions into the right, or at least a personally healthy, perspective.

5 Reasons You Should Be Journaling on the Job - Personal Branding Blog - Stand Out In Your Career

5 Reasons You Should Be Journaling on the Job - Personal Branding Blog - Stand Out In Your Career Journals are typically a private place for you to air out your thoughts, feelings and fear.  They’re also typically found far outside of the workplace. It turns out, though, that this notion should be ignored, as the benefits of journaling extend far beyond your personal life. The following five reasons prove it. Need more convincing? You only need to journal once a week to reap the benefits. You’ll Chart Your Goals and To-Dos You probably have a list of yearly goals somewhere in your employee file, which means you don’t look at it or reflect on it often. If you keep them on a page in your journal, though, you’ll always have them in mind. This means you’ll be more likely to work toward them as the year progresses and have something to show for yourself at your next yearly review where you’re likely to be rewarded for all of the work you’ve put in. You’re sure to find yourself adding to the list as you mark items off, which means you’ll be ready for the next time you sit down with your boss and come up with a set of year-long goals. Of course, recording and achieving your yearly goals is a journaling benefit that will take a few months to pay off. For now, you can use your journal to help yourself decide what’s most important to tackle in the days and weeks ahead. Having all of your to-dos in one place, rather than scribbled on Post-Its and stuck to random surfaces in your office, will make you more likely to tackle them. As an added bonus to your boon in productivity, finishing a to-do list feels pretty great, too. Having your journal on-hand as a place to record and cross off tasks will bring you one step closer to this level of satisfaction. You’ll Be Able to Solve Problems Better Work is stressful and, sometimes, our emotions get in the way of our better judgment. As such, you might find yourself making decisions that you later look back on and regret. That’s where your new journal will come in: To sharpen your problem solving by helping you sort through your thoughts and emotions and arrive at a solution. After writing down your problems at the office, you’ll be able to see and digest them more clearly. Once your thoughts are organized, you can see through the fog of your emotions and find a solution that’s right â€" versus right now. It’ll also help you to better solve issues in the future (more on that later). Your Communication Will Improve When’s the last time you really thought about how you were going to say something before you said it? Chances are, it’s been a while. That’s because, in today’s world, communication happens instantly. We simply don’t spend as much time gathering our thoughts and perfecting the way in which we’re going to present them to others. A journal allows you to put your ideas together at a much slower pace. Writing by hand and really thinking about what you’re planning to say will let it come through, whether you’re writing an e-mail to a higher-up or planning the talking points of your next sales pitch. No matter what you do, know that writing is a great way to improve all forms of communication. You’ll Reflect on Your Setbacks Some things that happen at the office are just bummers, plain and simple. It’s natural to feel sad or disappointed when things don’t go the right way, but dwelling is not going to get you anywhere. Instead, take your disappointments and scribble them down into your journal at the end of a long day. As you write, you might find yourself delving beyond the surface and seeing more than just the mess-up: You might realize what went wrong and how to prevent it in the future. That’s valuable insight that you can put to good use the next time a similar issue arises. You’ll Find Small Victories After a long day at the office, you’re sure to remember the big moments: presentations given, deals signed, projects finished. While these are certainly fulfilling milestones on which to reflect, they don’t happen every single day. Sometimes, days without big accomplishments can feel like a waste, especially if a setback occurs within the same eight hours. Writing down everything you’ve accomplished at the end of the day can give you a more well-rounded takeaway after a day that seems lackluster. You’ll think about and remember some of the smaller things you achieved, which will leave you feeling a lot better about the day. With a brighter outlook, you’ll leave the office in a better mood and come in the next morning ready to try for another feel-good day of work to top yesterday. Now that’s a competition that you’ll be happy to win.

How To Cut Summer Spending And Stay On Budget

How To Cut Summer Spending And Stay On Budget When summer comes to Canada, Canadians embrace it with enthusiasm. After spending months shoveling snow, scraping windshields, and struggling through snow-covered sidewalks, it’s natural for Canadians to want to get out of the house and treat themselves. Whether it’s trips to cottage country, vacations overseas, or just nights out in the city, as soon as it’s time to put the parka back in the closet, Canadians start spending.   When the days get longer, it can be a challenge to stay on budget! As the days get longer, you’re more likely to go shopping after work or on the weekends and you’re more likely to eat out or stop on the patio for a drink with your friends or co-workers. Come the muggy dog-days of deep summer, you’re more likely to plan family weekends at the beach or start craving weekends at the cottage. All of that means creeping credit card bills and unexpected expenses as you indulge your summer desires. Every summer, four in ten Canadians overspend during the summer, while nearly 30 percent overspend by $1,000 or more. Creeping credit card debt is an easy trap to fall into and it’s also one of the leading causes of insolvency alongside factors like job loss, personal injury, or divorce and separation. Overusing your credit card is one aspect of poor credit use that can lead to insolvency. Using your credit card is convenient and can have lower fees than Interac or cash, but when you use it to cover expenses you can’t afford or to cover essentials, you can accumulate debt you can’t afford to pay back. When debt catches up with you, you may need finance and debt solutions to get out. These may even include consumer proposals in Canada. A consumer proposal in Canada is a chance to halt interest from growing on your debts and get relief from debt collectors. In addition, a consumer proposal in Canada involves renegotiating your debt with your unsecured creditors. To qualify, you must owe at least $1,000 and be insolvent. Book a consultation with a bankruptcy trustee in Canada to find out if you’re insolvent. Bankruptcy trustees like David Sklar Associates offer initial consultations for free. If you avoid overspending, you may be able to avoid insolvency. When you have more savings, you’re better prepared to handle loss of income and put off going into debt in an emergency. This summer, here’s how you can keep spending under control and stay on budget. Track Everything â€" Use an app or a good old-fashioned notebook to track all your expenses, both on card and in cash. Set a Budget â€" Be lenient with yourself. Summer is a great time to enjoy yourself and account for the fact that you’re going to want to go out. But once you’ve found a number you’re comfortable with, stick to it. Break it down week by week. Identify Your Financial Goals â€" One of the main objectives of credit counselling from bankruptcy trustees like David Sklar Associates is identifying your financial goals. Is it saving for a house, a condo, a car, a vacation, retirement? When you know why you’re cutting back your spending, you feel good about sticking to your budget. You can enjoy your summer and still stay ahead financially. Savings and responsible spending are the most effective ways to protect yourself from insolvency in the case of an emergency.